Evil Coffee Strikes Again
Duo wakes up at 6:00, Saturday morning with a devious
grin. He throws on some clothes, all black as usual. Wufei
thinks I act like an idiot, well I'll just have to get
some footage of him being an idiot, it will be sweet,
thinks Duo as he makes his breakfast and warms a hot cup
of cappachino. After breakfast Duo gathers his supplies;
a video camera he "burrowed" from Quatre a year
ago, a white coffee mug, and a canister of coffee he
brought home from France.
Duo headed cheerfully to Heero's apartment, thinking
about his brillant plan. DING-DONG. An automatic
recording went on: "If your name is Relena, please
exit immediately, I'm not home." Duo laughed
hysterically, "Hey, Heero! When'd you get that
installed? Ya could've made a better message than that!
Do you really think it'll work?" Heero opened the
door and grinned sheepishly (Get the Press, we've just
made history, here!) "Hey, like my new 'alarm'? I
installed it yesterday." (Man, Heero would sound
weird...happy.) Duo's grin spread wider, has Relena
'heard' it yet? I bet she'll love it. So, don'tcha wanna
know why I'm here? I have this great plan! Ya know how
Wufei..." Duo and Heero disappeared inside the
apartment.
Half an hour later, they were a block from Wufei's
town-house. "C'mon, hurry! It's already 6:45,
Wufei'll be up any second." hissed Duo as they
prowled towards the house. "Man, I hope he won't be
as crazy as you when he drinks this..." mutters
Heero. Duo snorts, "Aww, c'mon, I wasn't that bad, a
20-meter diving board...trashing homes with a lawn-mower,
the Eifel Tower...nothin' big...it's not like I dressed
in rags and did the hoola." Heero rolls his eyes.
They find Wufei in the kitchen, preparing to brew
coffee...perfect... When Wufei's back was turned, Duo
carefully reached in the window and switched the cans of
coffee.
Wufei reaches for the coffee, totalling absorbed in the
morning paper...He takes a looong sip of the
coffee...After breakfast Wufei, with his coffee, goes in
the den and starts to watch some karate program.
"Hey, Heero, does karate count as educational?"
whispered Duo from his niche outside. Heero shrugged.
Suddenly, hysterical laughter erupted from inside. Wufei
was laughing insanely, a small line of drool hung from
his mouth. Before Duo could whip out his camera, Wufei
ran off.
"C'mon!" hissed Duo as they proceded to follow
Wufei. Wufei didn't seem to notice he was still in his
boxers...boxers with teenage mutant ninja turtles on
them....Ladies coming out to get the morning paper scream
and shriek as nutso Wufei runs down the street.
Justiceboy finds the mailman! The mailman runs and
screams. Wufei chases the mailman. The mailman finds the
milkman! Wufei chases the mailman and the milkman! The
mailman and milkman finds the paperboy! The mailman,
milkman, and paperboy run from Justiceboy! (*hysterical
laughter from author*)
Wufei's intrest in the mailman, milkman, and paperboy
faded when he was the candy store. Wufei runs in and
freaks out the lady at the counter. "M-May I help
you s-sir?" spluttered the lady. Wufei nodded with
his tougue sticking out like an idiot. Wufei jumped on
the counter and grabs a bunch of snickers, "YES!!
The most powerful candy in the world, stronger than all
those weeeaaakkkkk candies!! Mawhahahahhaha!!!" The
lady at the counter backs away sloooowly.
Too late, Wufei whips his head around and sloooowly walks
towards the lady. "You shall not escape weak mortal
woman! You shall suffer for the injustice of selling weak
candies!! You are all weak fools!" Wufei exclaims.
Heero and Duo enter the store, gathering it all on tape.
Wufei turns around, "Nani? More weaklings to
chanllenge me?" Wufei starts bombarding Heero and
Duo with snickers. "Hey, hey, hey! Watch the camera!
I paid a fortune for this thing!" complained Duo.
"Paid? Didn't you get that from Quatre?" asked
Heero, sheilding himself from the flying candies.
"Uh..well..thats not the point!"
The Solitary Dragon runs out of candy and runs past Heero
and Duo, and out the door. "Look Mommy, a guy in
ninja turtles underwear!" yelled a little boy
yelled. Wufei looked directly at the little boy. His
mother shrieked as the insane one approached them. Wufei
grabbed the little boy's hand and
said............."Twinkle twinkle little
star...!" The kid grinned and finished, "How I
wonders what yous are!" The mother of the kid
overcame her shock, grabbed the boy's hand and ran off.
Wufei looked confused, shrugged, and walked away.
"Is that enough, Duo?" asked Heero as they
watched Wufei run down the street yelling something about
weak candies or something. Duo laughed, "Nah, lets
get some more!" And they followed him until he broke
out of his insane stage.
The next day, the group was supposed to meet up at
Heero's place. Wufei started off the conversation,
"The weirdest thing happened to me yesterday, I woke
up in a candy store! And this woman was looking at me
strangely." Duo couldn't controll himself, he burst
out laughing. Wufei narrowed his eyes at Shinigami.
"What is so funny, Maxwell?" Duo helplessly
held up a tape. Wufei took it roughly and out it into
Heero's VCR. Wufei stared at himself acting stupid for a
full twenty seconds before screaming,
"MAXWELLLLLLLL!!!", got up and started chasing
Duo around.
"Hey! Hey! You didn't even get to the part at the
zoo!!! Ow! Not the hair! Not the hair! Hey! Geez! That
hurt! Owwwww!!" The rest of the group watched,
rather amused as Wufei and Duo ran around the room in
circles. Finally Wufei manages to catch Duo, lift him up
and throw him out the window. "AHHHH!!"
"Hey! I have to pay for that ya know."
complained Heero. Trowa nodded. Quatre tsk-tsked. Wufei
just stood there, still angry. "Hey....guys? Is
anyone gonna help me here? Guys...?" a weak voice
said from outside.
© Kiriska