Chapter 09 : Talk
Taichi
I stared at Yamato, he started back at me. We stood in
silence, glaring, for a while. Then Yama spoke; "Well? What
are you going to say to me, Taichi?" he repeated. I
hesitated, I hate to admit, but I was uncomfortable...and that in
itself scared me. I had always been comfortable around Matt.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked stupidly.
Yamato frowned; "I told you. It stops the pain." he
said quietly. "Isn't there some other way? You don't
have...to kill things..." I told him. "How would if
someone murderered Hikari?" he questioned. I figeted, I knew
he would ask it sooner or later. "I suppose I'd want
revenge..." I said, I couldn't lie. Not to Matt. Even now.
Damn.
"So what's wrong with my revenge? And they're just rats.
It's keeping me from hurting ... real people." he said.
"What will you do when you can't find any more rats?"
Matt looked away, "I don't know. But don't you understand
Tai? I //have// to avenge Takeru...I have to find his
killer..." I shook my head; "No, Yamato...you don't
have to, you're letting him get to you..you're letting him take
control of you...don't let him...don't do this..He probably wants
you to go after him.."
His eyes flashed; "So be it. I don't care about what he
wants. I care about what I want. And I want to kill TK's
murderer." he growled. "Yamato,...I know how
you--" I was cut off by his sharp voice. "You know how
I feel, Taichi!? How could you possibly know how I feel? You will
never know how I feel, not until you lose your sister." he
snapped. I felt a sting. 'Not until you lose you sister'....his
words immediately began to echo.
I was silent, I didn't know what do say.
"Matt...please...would Takeru want this?" Yamato's
expression went soft for a spilt second then hardened again.
"I don't know what Takeru wants. I'd ask, but he's
dead." his harsh tone surprised me. "I'll tell you what
he wants, Yama," I felt myself starting to become angry,
"He wouldn't want you to hurt people, turn into a killer
youself, he'd what you to deal, and get over it!"
"How do you know?" my friend snarled. "You're
telling me you don't know your own brother well enough to know
what he would want!?" I demanded. Yamato glared, but didn't
say anything. We stood there in silence for a few minutes. Then
Yama spoke up again; "What do you suggest I do, Tai?"
he asked softly, his expression still hard.
I was semi-relieved, maybe this talk would get somewhere.
"You can try to accept it. There's nothing you can do to
bring TK back, just try to calm yourself...the pain will go
away...let it go away..." Yamato didn't blink, "I still
want to kill him." he said simply. I knew perfectly well who
'him' was. "Talk to someone...tell people how you feel...it
will help." Geez, I sound like a Psychiatrist...speaking of
which...maybe Yamato should see one...or a counselor...or
something...
Yamato was silent for a few more minutes; then he took out the
knife he had had earlier. I flinched, but didn't say anything.
Matt looked at the knife for a few seconds, then offered it to
me. "Take this Tai. Don't let me have it." he said.
"Alright, Yama...thanks for listening to me..." I
cautiously took the knife from my friend. He looked at me.
"Do you think I'm crazy?" he asked.
I thought, did I think Matt was crazy? Maybe. "No, of course
not...it's perfectly normal to feel this way.." I really do
sound like a psychiatrist. Yamato stared blankly for a few more
seconds. "Are you going to suggest I talk to a
psychiatrist?" Whoa...mind-reader...I couldn't tell if he
was serious or not. What am I suppose to say?
"Er...well...you should talk to someone...you can talk to me
if you want..."
"I'm not insane..." I heard Matt mutter under his
breath, I didn't know if I was suppose to hear that or
not...damn, I was //afraid// of Yamato right now...why? He was my
best friend...why am I afraid of him? Yamato looked distracted
suddenly. "I'm not insane...I'm not insane..." then he
looked up at me again; "Tell me the truth Taichi, do you
think I should see a psychiatrist?"
I sighed; "You probably should Yamato. You're scaring us,
you know that?" Don't take offense..don't take
offense..don't hurt me, man! Damn, I'm a chicken. Crest of
Courage my ass. And I'm the one holding the knife. I watched my
friend, he didn't say anything for a while. These silence periods
were making me fidgety!
"I'll go to the psychiatrist. Thanks Taichi." Yamato
turned. I smiled. "No prob, man." I turned to leave.
Things were looking up. It was still storming outside. Mr.Ishida
saw me heading for the door. "What happened?" he asked.
"Yama agreed to go see a psychiatrist." I replied.
Matt's dad looked shocked. "How can I ever thank you
Taichi!?" he asked gleefully. I grinned; "You could
find me an umbrella."
© Kiriska