Chapter 02 : Thoughts
Yamato
Takeru was gone. Torn away. I sat in the chair next to the
bed, the room smelled of blood. TK had only been dead for a few
hours, but it already seemed like forever. What kind of twisted,
sick, ruthless, goddamn person would do this? And WHY? Why, why,
why? The others had left, probably couldn't stand to stay near a
dead person. They had came, but they hadn't said anything. They
just stood, stared, and cried. Cried for themselves.
They cried for themselves, not for Takeru. They cried becuz they
would miss him, they didn't cry becuz Takeru would never get to
see another day. They cried for themselves. Selfish. I felt
angry. I didn't show it, no. I was an expert at that. I know on
the outside, I looked cold, expressionless, maybe even cool.
That's not now I felt. Hell no.
It was like having part of your heart ripped out. TK was my
brother, probably the closest person to me. In the Digital World
I strived to protect him all the dangers. But he didn't need me.
I learned that. So I didn't protect him anymore. Is that why he's
dead? Is it? If I had continued to protect him, would I be the
one laying there in bloody sheets instead of him? Would I?
My brother's face was pale, the blood no longer rushed through
his body, it was spilling out through various cuts and gashes.
His hair was ruffled and dirty, like he had been in a fight. He
had gone down fighting. Fighting. Fighting who? He was missing an
arm. The shoulder had been wrapped in bandages which were already
soaked in blood. The blood had begun to dry. That's why the room
smelled.
My parents weren't in the room, they were outside, peering
through the window. They can't stand to be in here with you
either, TK. I thought. They're all abandoning you. I'm not
leaving, little brother. In the back of my head, a little voice
called me insane. I was talking to my dead brother.
Why hadn't I been there to protect Takeru? Why had he been out
alone anyway? Didn't Mom have any sense? I felt myself heat up, I
was sweating now. My cool look was slipping. Who had found him?
So many questions. Who had the answers? Who? How did they feel?
Seeing TK sprawled on the floor, one arm missing, cuts
everywhere, bleeding to death. Or was he already dead? I didn't
know.
Who had murdered my brother? Why? What had he ever done to hurt
anyone? He was a saint, why why why? I realized I was trembling
now. My body shuddered violently, my arms shook. I held myself,
gripped tightly, forcing the shaking to stop. A drop of sweat
rolled down my face. I still hadn't shed a tear. And I wanted to
keep it that way.
My parents came in, along with a nurse. A ugly nurse. I didn't
look up, I kept my stone gaze on TK's face. "Yamato?"
my mother called uncertainly. I didn't answer. Didn't look up.
Didn't twitch. Didn't move at all. "Let's go home...there's
nothing you can do here." Dad said. No, I answered in my
mind, I'm not leaving Takeru here, all alone in this damn
hospital...with no one who cares for him. Outloud, I said
nothing.
My parents looked at each other. I knew they wanted to leave. I
knew they wanted me to leave here. And I knew they didn't want to
yell at me. But they didn't. So they left me here. They and the
nurse conversed amoungst themselves as they left the room again.
I caught a few sniplets of words. "..leave him here..."
"...in shock..." "..perfectly normal..."
"..better in a few days..." They closed the door behind
him.
I was alone again. I didn't like being alone. I was still staring
at TK. He was here. At least. My dead brother. You'll keep me
company. The little voice in the back of my brain said something
again. You're crazy Yamato. That's what it was saying. I ignored
it. I sat there. The lights outside of the room were being turned
off. The hospital was closing for the night. No one was staying.
No one wanted to spend the night in the same room with a dead
person. No one...
They didn't care about Takeru. If they did they would still be
here. They'd stay here. No one cared. They only cared about
themselves, they felt sorry for themselves. They had lost a
friend, a son, a patient. They didn't care about what Takeru had
lost. He had lost his friends, his family, his life, his future.
He had lost everything. No one cares. No one cares. They all left
him here. In this room. This smelly, blood-filled room. No one
cares. No one but me. I sat. The only light in the entire
building was the lamp in this room. I sat there like a statue.
It was errie in the hospital. Sometimes I could hear footsteps.
Or I thought I heard footsteps. I don't know. My mind kept
wandering back to the question. Why? Why are you dead, TK? Why
are you dead? Why did you leave me here. And why doesn't anyone
care? Why did they all leave? Why? Why? Why? Does no one care but
me? Did everyone leave you, Takeru? Everyone but me? Don't worry.
I'm not leaving. I won't leave you. Around midnight, the lamp
light flickered. Flickered, and burned out. I sat there in the
darkness. Alone. Alone with my dead brother.
© Kiriska