Runaway

Yamato



Graffiti decorations
Underneath a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learn were never true..

Now I find myself in question
They point the finger at me again
Guilty by association
You point the finger at me again

I swung the old, leather backpack over my shoulder. This was it. It was nearly midnight. My father was not home yet. Tipical. He was never home anyway. At work by 6 am, home by 3 am. He lives at work. I never see him. He leaves notes, sure. 'I'll be home for dinner, Yama', 'Can you pick up the groceries again, please?', 'I'll see you around 6'. He never shows up. Never there for me. Now I don't be there. He probably won't even notice.

When I was younger, I remember he left me notes with lessons on them. Old sayings and stuff, you know like; 'Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise' I used to follow them. They were never true. My trust was broken at a young age. And he just never noticed.

The short moments we do see each other are filled with tension. You don't know what to say to me. I have no urge to talk to you. So the moments are silent. When my grades drop, you blame me. Don't you know it's your fault too? You never help me. You never encourage me. You give me nothing. You are nothing to me. I question myself. Why should I stay here? I take care of you more than you do me.

I do the grocery shopping, I make all the meals, I do all the chores. You just happen to live here. When I find time to do a part-time job. My money goes to the bills. I have nothing here in this apartment. You offer me nothing I can't get elsewhere. I don't need you. How would you do without me? Let's find out.

<I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

I left no note, no clue, no nothing. I didn't say goodbye. And I have no intension to. You always lie to me. Why do you deserve to know? I always used to wonder why you lie to me. Say you'll be home, but you don't. I used to ask for answers. But now, I just want to shut the door in your face and get you out of my life. I don't care anymore.

You never cared for me. Now it's my turn. My mind has been haunted with those questions too long. It's time to leave and let them out. My mind will be free of your neglect. I closed the door to the apartment and locked it. I still had a spare key. I thought I might as well keep it, just in case I forgot something.

I had taken with me only a few things: all the money I could find in the house, some clothes, a cell phone, my guitar, my harmonica, and a pocketknife. These were packed into my backpack, I held my guitar case tightly as I decended the stairs. I'm about to be free. No more of this.

Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true

Now I find myself in question
They point the finger at me again
Guilty by association
You point the finger at me again

Outside it was cloudy. The sky was filled with smog as well, the city wasn't the cleanest place in the world. I've told him I would run away many times before. He simply got angry, yelled at me, and left. It was funny. I hardly ever speak to him. And whenever he spoke to me. It was always negitive. Well, now my talk is gone. I'm going to runaway. Never say goodbye.

What will you do out there in the world, Yama? The voice in my head asked. I shrugged to myself. I have my music, I can make money off that. I can ditch school, I never needed it anyway. I have a whole life ahead of me. And I'm going to make the most of it. I kicked a paper bag that had been littered on the side of the sidewalk. The night was filled with low, angry, voices. Whispering to each other. The night was a dangerous time.

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

I didn't run into much trouble. A few punks threw a rock at me. I ignored them. They called me some names, but when I ignored them still, they left. I walked deep into the city. It was cold. I pulled my leather jacket around me closer. I needed to find a hotel. Tonight was the beginning of my new life. I should enjoy it. Somehow I didn't feel too good.

What about your friends, Yamato? the voice questioned. I shrugged again. It doesn't matter. I can find new ones. Your brother? What about him? the voice persisted. He has his own life, he doesn't need me. I answered myself. Tai? Sora? Izzy? And the others? They have each other, I told myself, they don't need me.

And your band? I was getting annoyed at the voice. The band can find another lead singer and guitarrist, they don't need me. The voice in my head grew silent. Nothing else to say. I found a hotel near the very egde of town. I had runaway. I won't wonder why. I know why. And I'm not going to question myself. Everything was going to be great.

Gonna run away and never say goodbye
Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away and never wonder why
Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away and open up my mind
Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away, gonna run away

I've run away. I didn't say goodbye. I'm not going to wonder why. I've opened my mind. I am free. I have started my new life. And there is no turning back. I am no longer Ishida Yamato. I am a new person. I have no family. I have no friends. All I have is myself, in this new world. I am alone. Somehow I feel as if I wasn't much better off than I was.

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

I wanna run away
And open up my mind
I wanna run away
And open up my mind
I wanna run away
And open up my mind
I wanna run away
And open up my mind

© Kiriska