The BASHING SHOW!



Mayakashi: Hello. My name is Mayakashi and I am one of Kiri's muses. I am here to tell you that Akutareru has suffered from severe forms of musical trauma and that was why the Bashing Show has not produced an episode since Feburary. Akutareru wishes to apologize for his insanity and hereby declares this Bashing Christmas Special in response to the nonexistant demand for more episodes. And so here he is, Akutareru, your unlovable host of the Bashing Show.

**curtains rise**

Akutareru: *clears throat* Uh, thanks 'Kashi,...Hello everyone, and welcome to THE BASHING SHOW. This episode will be very special because not only will be we making fun of lots of characters from who-the-hell-knows where, we'll be making fun of holiday traditionals and whatever Fique wrote on my que-cards!

Audience: *YaY!*

Akutareru: And so without further adue, our contestants for tonight are! Sanosuke!

Sanosuke: Vote for me!

Akutareru: Sorata!

Sorata: HellooooooooooooooOOOOOOooo Christmas!

Akutareru: And,...Mew...

Mew: Meewwww!

Jigglypuff: But Mew doesn't speak English,...

Akutareru: You aren't supposed to either.

Jigglypuff: But I do because I sound so stupid otherwise. Mew doesn't because she's...

Akutareru: Simple?

Jigglypuff: And stupid. =/

Akutareru: Hey, I didn't pick these people. -_-

Sorata: Can we skip to the part where I get to beat someone up?

Sanosuke: You mean where I get to beat someone up.

Mew: Mew, me-mew, mew, MEWMEW.

Akutareru: Back for five minutes and they're ALREADY on my back,...EESH,...

Kurama: Well, you did leave everyone waiting for ten months.

Akutareru: Shut up foxboy.

Shippou: Don't insult foxkind. u_u

Matt: If you don't hurry up, I'll start singing again. XD

Akutareru: ROUND ONE! This is where---

Sanosuke: Hey! You didn't have us introduce ourselves!

Akutareru: Fine, fine! Introduce yourselves!

Sanosuke: I'm the strongest swordless street fightah in fuedal Japan cosh I'm cool like that.

Cast of Rurouni Kenshin: Uh-huhhhhhh,...

Sorata: I'ma priest boy from whatever the name of that temple was! ^_^ I died for the first girl I saw when I went to Tokyo.

Zim: But you're still...here.

Sorata: Yeah, cool huh? XD

Zim: You can't fool me with your lies, human!

Sorata: Ok.

Zim: Good. As long as we understand that. *nibbles on snacks*

Mew: Mew, me-mewmew, myuuu, mew. Mew.

Pikachu: She says she's your god.

Akutareru: And now,...ROUND ONE!

Nekoi: So what's so Christmasy about this episode again?

Akutareru: It's HOLIDAY-Y. You have to be politically correct, you know.

Nekoi: Ok,...so what's holiday-y about this episode again?

Akutareru: There will be bonus rounds in between rounds where the contestants do stupid stuff involving stockings and candy canes.

Nekoi: Uh-huhhhhhhhhh,...I thought you said we were going to make fun of stuff?

Akutareru: I'M WEARIN' A SANTA HAT, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! *waves Santa hat around in her face*

Sanosuke: I want the game to start now.

Sorata: *nodnod*

Mew: Me-eeeeeeeeeeeew.

Akutareru: And so, for the THIRD TIME,....ROUND ONE!

**Cricket Choir starts chirping Carol of the Bells**

Akutareru: NO SINGING! O_O ROUND ONE! ROUND ONE! ROUND ONE!

*ding*

**Picture of Santa Claus appears**

Sanosuke: THE JOLLY FAT MAN!

Sorata: Man,...he is fatty fat-fat indeeed. And fat. Yeah, fat. Santa is a happy fat man,...who for some peculiar reason enjoys COMMANDING AN ELVISH ARMY,...he will take over the world one'o these days,..

Mew: Me, mew muh mewmew mew.

Meowth: She shays 'ee loohks dah-lee-cious,...

Akutareru: Fifty to Sorata.

Sano: But I insulted him! He didn't!

Akutareru: The 'jolly fat man' is not an insult,...

Sano: I'd kill someone if they called me that,...

Akutareru: But you aren't jolly and fat!

Sano: But how is saying that he'll command an elvish army insulting?!

Sorata: Hey! Peculiar is a negatively connotative adjective! It's insulting!

Audience: ..........

Mew: Muh-mew-mew-mew. Mew, me-mewmew! Mew!

Meowth: Mew says Santa needs to shave.

Mew: Mew!

Meowth: And is ugly.

Akutareru: ....FINE. Fifty to MEW.

Sano: ...

Sorata: WHAT?! Thanks a LOT,...stupid wannabe swordsman.

Akutareru: I'm starting to remember again why I quit,...

**Picture of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer appears**

Sorata: OMG,...it's-it's,...there's an unspeakably large, GLOWING TOMATO-LEECH stuck to his nose! O_o

Sano: .... It's stealing his soul,...poor horsie.

Sorata: *blinks* That's not a horse...

Mew: Mew, muh-mew, me-mew. Myuyuyuyuyuyu-mew.

Meowth, Mew's Offical Translator: She says that the reindeer's so entranced by its own spiffy nose that he crashes into skyscrapers as he goes.

Mimi: She said all that in that many 'mew's? =3

Meowth: Yuuuuuuuuuuuup.

Sorata: That's a reindeer? It's head is like this big! *waves his hands around*

Sano: *rubs his chin* I don't get it. I see a leech.

Sorata: *nodnod*

Akutareru: *rolls eyes* Ya'll,...the pokemon is winning,...50 to Mew.

**Picture of Arashi appears**

Sorata: Hey! That's not Xmasy!

Akutareru: I didn't say everything would be,...

Sorata: But how can one bash her? She's perrrrrrrrrrrrrfect. I died for her. x_x

Sano: But you're alive!

Sorata: Well in MY world, I'm dead. You're dead too. Everyone's dead. x_x Eh, not really. We "live in each other's hearts" and stuff.

Sano: I don't exist in your world.

Sorata: I'm just SAYIN'...

Mew: Mewmewmewmew, meeew, me-mew, mew.

Meowth: She says that Arashi is SO-SO-SO serious that she was killed by a touchy clown for not laughing. Man, I should be getting paid for this,...

Mew: Mewmew.

Meowth: Really? AWESOME! XD

Sorata: HEY, that fat-tummy'd kitty insulted my girl,...T_T

Sano: Heehee.

Akutareru: -_- 50 more to Mew. You two better stop arguing if you wanna beat people up,...

Sorata: Ah! That's right! I need to beat up---

Kamui: SSSHHH!

Sorata: Oops. ^_^; Sorry, Kamui-chan.

Kamui: >.>

Sano: Hmmm,...

**Picture of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow appears**

Sorata: ....He isn't even an animated creation!

Sano: This is an outrage!

Sorata: Indeed! First western creations like ZIM---

Zim: Who dares speak badly of ZIM?!

Sorata: And now live action movie-people?! What's next? The muppets?!

Kermit: You say that as if we're a bad thing,...

Piggy: HUMPH!

Sano: I don't understaaaaaaaaaaand. T_T

Mew: Mew, muh-mewmewmew. Myuuuume-mew.

Meowth: She says that Depp's opportune moment for walking is when he is drunk so his piratey off-balance walk and his drunkenness balance each other out.

Audience: *in awe at innocent Mew's ability to insult people*

Sano & Sorata: *in awe at innocent Mew's ability to kick their asses*

Akutareru: *wonders as well why Depp was there in the first place* 50 to Mew...

**Picture of Oogie Boogie Man appears**

Matt: Kidnap the Sandy Claws!

Ryuichi: Throw him in a box!

Tai: Bury him for ninety years!

Shuichi: Then see if he talks!

Matt: Kidnap the Sandy Claws!

Ryuichi: Tie him in a bag!

Tai: Throw him in the ocean!

Shuichi: Then see if he is sad!

Matt, Ryu, Tai & Shu: Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around! If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of toooooooooooooooown!

Akutareru: YOU FOUR GET OUT OF MY THEATRE!

**They skadaddle**

Duo: Is Akutareru the Oogie Boogie Man? XD

Heero: No, Duo, no. He's the stupid Bash-Show-Man.

Akutareru: I resent that.

Heero: Hn.

Sano: So,...this Oogie Boogie Man,...

Sorata: CLAYMATION!!!! >.<!!

Sano: Better than live action though,...

Sorata: I suppose,...

Sano: I guess we're a well-rounded and politically correct show after all,...

Sorata: How is it well-rounded?

Sano: It's because we--

Akutareru: It's a lovely discussion topic I'm sure, but this isn't a radio show, and it'd be very sad if Mew got it ri--

Mew: Mew muh mew mew mew!!

Meowth: She says that the Oogie Boogie Man likes stitched together pieces of sexy clay. That jolly fat boogie man, yup.

Akutareru: Again,...50 to Mew. This is so sad.

Mew: Mew, me-eew! Mew!

Meowth: She says she's underrated and that you'd better stop acting as if she was stupid. Yup. Kittys own. =P

Akutareru: Uh-huhhhhhhhh,...

ZIM: I demand more pirate-monkeys!

The Resisty Member: I wanted to be a Pirate Monkey!

blu: Me too,...

Akutareru: Me three,...no! No pirate monkeys!

GIR: Aww,...

**Picture of Mew appears**

Mew: Mew!

Sano: Heh,...it's the kitty-god,...

Sorata: So 'tis, so 'tis,...

Akutareru: SO BASH HER STUPID!

Sano: Oh yeah,...

Sorata: *ponders this*

Meowth: Um,...

Mew: Mew! Me-mew, mew, mewmewmew. Mew. Mrew-me.

Meowth: She says that the kitty-god is so overconfident that she slept during the show and ends up loosing in the end like the rabbit. Silly rabbit.

Sonic: TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!

Sano: Indeed they are,...

Akutareru: *smacks forehead* You know. You just let her win another one.

Sorata: So we did,...hmmm,...x_x

Akutareru: T_T Fifty to Mew.

Hiei: It isn't very entertaining when there are two idiots up there loosing to a cat-thing.

Yusuke: Indeed not. Whatsay we go up there and beat up the muse?

Kuwabara: Sounds good to me.

Kurama: What a nice show.

Akutareru: What say we don't and go to round two?

Hiei: Only if you entertain me with it. u_u

Akutareru: Okkkkkkkkkkkay then. ROUND TWO!

**Cricket Choir starts chirping Jingle Bells**

Akutareru: NO SINGING! WHO HIRED YOU?! ROUND TWO!

*ding*

Sano: *cracks knuckles* I'm gonna get some points 'ere, aye.

Mew: Mew. u_u *all-confident-like*

Sorata: Not if I can help it,...

Mechin: *appears out of no where* I'm a cameo! YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!

blu: I'm a cameo too,...and I've been here before. So I must be more special than you. Nyeh.

Mechin: Hush you! Let me enjoy my glory!

Akutareru: Ahem. *reads notecard* This stupid skeleton got the crackpot idea of stealing Christmas from Christmas and bringing it to some other obscurely ghoulish holiday, yup. He did.

Matt & Ryuichi: Making Christmas! Making Christmas!

Shuichi & Tai: Dun da da daaaaaahhhhhhh,...!!

Matt & Ryuichi: Snakes and mice get wrapped up so nice!!

Shuichi & Tai: With spiders legs and pretty bows!!

Akutareru: NO! NO SINGING!

**Them four explodedes**

blu: But that's such a nice song,...mak---

**blu explodes**

Mechin: HA! Who's still around now, cameo-person?!?!?! Nyehehehehe!

Sorata: JACK!

Sano: Be nimble, Jack be quick! Jack jumped over the---oh shit, I just lost another one huh?

Ryoko: Candlestick?

Mew: MEW! =o_o=

Meowth: Don't worry your Mewship,...we'll get them next time,...Meowth. =3

Akutareru: Like, omg, Mew didn't get one! *GASPITH* Hundred to Sorata.

Sano: Hey, waitta gosh darn minute. Isn't the first round supposed to be hundred points and the second round fifty?

Akutareru: .... So 'tis,....HUSH YOU! We're doing it like this now! >.>

Hiei: I think Akutareru's been insane too long.

Akutareru: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! NEXT CARD! *grabs card out of no where* This little doggie was so stupid to think that she was a reindeer just because of a dumb song,....yup.

Sorata: What song was it?

Akutareru: Can't tell you that. Maybe if you're lucky, one of those WRETCHED audience members will SING it,....(I dare you,...)

Sano: Why is so much of this carol-themed if you don't like music?

Akutareru: BECAUSE I DIDN'T WRITE THESE! I JUST HOST!

Sano: So why don't you write them yourself?

Akutareru: *fume-fume* >.<!

Mew: *is thinking and stuff*

Kohaku: All of the other reindeer! Used to laugh and call him names! They wouldn't let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!

**Kohaku explodes**

Koryu: Damn,...I wanted to do that...=/

Akutareru: Fine.

**Kohaku reappears**

**Kohaku explodes**

Koryu: Thank you. ^_^

Akutareru: You're welcome. -_-

Popeye: Geez, Olive Oil, what'er we doin' 'ere? Aye thinks we'z in the wrong theatre, eh?

Sano: OLIVE! OLIVE THE OTHER REINDEER!!

Sorata: What about the other reindeer?

Sano: OLIVE!

Sorata: All of what?!

Mew: Me-ew. =(

Akutareru: 100 to Sanosuke.

Sorata: For what?!

Akutareru: He answered the question,...

Sorata: No he didn't! What was it?!

Akutareru: Olive.

Sorata: All of WHAT?!?! >.<!!!

Akutareru: Oh,...just,...next one! *reads* This is the person who uh,...had the Most Horrible Xmas Special Ever,...and is the creator of the almight Easter Platypus.

GIR: Heehee! I'M the Easter Platypus!

Zim: That's right, GIR, that sure is right,...

Mew: Mew, me-mew, mew.

Meowth: That wasn't insulting. x_x

Akutareru: Yes. But see, if I insult Zim, he will blow up my studio.

Tachi: DUDE. You just gave them the answer!

Akutareru: Did they realized that?

Sano: Realize what?

Akutareru: I didn't think so. x_x

Mew: Me-mew mew!

Meowth: She said she DID realize. It ish Zim.

Zim: That's INVADER ZIM to you, you cat-thing!

Sorata: I think I missed something. T_T

Akutareru: >.> 100 more to Mew.

Hiei: *yawn*

Duo: Yeah, I are bored too. Let's deck the halls and blow the place up!

Ryoko: YEAH!

Heero: Sounds like a plan to me.

**Hiei, Duo, Ryoko, and Heero exit theatre**

**Akutareru eyes them warily**

Akutareru: Ermherm,...*reads* Who---uh,...what the hell,...who is the scariest looking Santa Claus in the history of Santa Clauses?

Faye: Jack.

Cap'n Jack Sparrow: Eh? I ain't bein' no Santa Claus,...

Invader Spleen: Other Jack?

Jim: Which Jack?

Sorata: How many Jacks could there possibly be?!

All the Jacks in the Audience: Plenty!

Sano: Not as many Jacks as there are Johnnys

Johnny: That sure is true, huh Plank?

Plank: *plankspeak*

(Joh)Nny: Perhaps there are many human psychos in this horrific world that wish to curse their child with such a wretched name,...curse them.

Johnny: But I sure am the handsomest of them all! Hah, hah! *poses*

Cricket Choir: Johnny wants a pair of skates! Susie wants a sled! Tony wants a bicycle, painted shiny reeeeeeeeed!

The Three Johnnys: I don't want a pair of skates,...

Susie: I wanna sled! Yeah!

Sorata: Who's Tony?

Sano: Dunno.

Mew: Me-ewmew?

Meowth: What was the question again?

Akutareru: I don't remember. -_-

Juri: But you have the card!

Akutareru: *eats card* What card? -_- *crunch crunch*

Daisuke: When's commercial? I need to use the bathroom. q_p

Akutareru: I dunno,...round two ain't done yet,...

Sasami: But we've been on for like ever! x_x This is a looooooooong episode.

Akutareru: Not as long as that last one,...*twitch*

Sasami: Not yet. =3

Daisuke: Commercial? Please? >.<!

Akutareru: Ok,...ok,...commercial,...eesh,...*starts off stage* Someone gimme a coffee,...

======================

Matt: Wake up!

Ryuichi: *whispering* Wake up!

Matt: Grab a brush n' put on'a little makeup!

Ryuichi: *whispering* Makeup!

Matt: Hide the scars that fade away the shake up!

Ryuichi: *whispering* Shake up!

Matt: Why'ja leave the keys up on teh table?!

Ryuichi: Here'ye'go creatin' a'no'ter fable!

Matt: You wanted to!

Akutareru: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ADVERTISING?!

Ryuichi: Cars. It's a car commercial.

Matt: Yeah, you know, where they give you all this random stuff with some random rock song in the background then come up with Suzuki at the end?

Ryuichi: Or Toyota, no da?

Matt: Or Honda?

Ryuichi: Or Ford, no da?

Matt: Like a rock? XD

Ryuichi: Is Ford the one that's like a rock, no da?

Matt: I dun't remember.

Ryuichi: What about them shoe commercials where they have some guy runnin' for a really long time and pantin' lots, then at the end close up on the shoes and say Nike, no da?

Matt: I hate those commercials.

Ryuichi: *nodnod* But they aren't as bad as them jeans commercials where they close up on the butt, no da.

Matt: I like them butts, mwee. Don't insult the butts.

Tai: Yama was in one of those commercials. XD

Matt: Wasn't! Wasn't!

Tai: Was too.

Ryuichi: This is one looooong commercial, no da. XD

Matt: So what were we advertising again?

Ryuichi: I don't remember, no da.

Tai: I do!

Matt: What was it?

Tai: No I don't. ;_;

Ryuichi: Oh well, no da.

Matt: Let us sing!

Ryuichi: Ok!

Akutareru: NO! ROLL AGAIN!

Matt: But we haven't finished advertising anything!

Akutareru: Then do it without singing!

Ryuichi: But we like singing, no da. T_T

Akutareru: That's nice,...but I don't care! Now hurry up!

Cricket Chorus: *in song* The right stuff the right price! Academy! For your holiday sporting needs!

Tai: Whose gonna go sporting in a blizzard?

Matt: I don't kno---

Akutareru: Back to the show!!!

Matt: But I---

Akutareru: SHOW!

======================

Sano: So are we still in the middle of round two?

Ice Climbers: YUP!

Fox: Come on!

Mario: Let'sa go'a!

Marth: Minna, miteite kure! (Everyone, look at me!)

Audience: But Roy's our boy.

Marth: Shut up and cheer for me!

Roy: Hehe, I'm their boy. And you're not. XD

Marth: Boku wa makeru wake-ni wa ikanainda! (There's no way I can lose!)

Roy: Shin no takakai wa...korekare da! (The true battle... begins here!)

**Marth and Roy clash swords on stage, much to the Audience's amusement, and much to Akutareru's dismay**

Audience: Ooooo,...ahhhhh,....ohhhhh,....ahhhh,...!

blu: Roy's our boy! Roy's our boy! Roy's our boy!

Mechin: I thought you exploded,...?

blu: I came back to cheer for Roy! XD

Saria: Gooooooooooooo LinK! Gooooooooooooooooo Link!

Yusuke: But Link isn't fighting,...

**Link jumps out of no where and joys the fray - just for the bloody hell of it**

blu: Battle of the Prettyboys! AGAIN! Nyahahahaha!! XD

Akutareru: Can we hurry this up? There's still kinda a show to do.

Sano: I'd rather watch this, actually. Entertainment at its best. =P

Sorata: I DO kinda wanna beat someone up,...but what he says IS true,...

Mew: Mew, mew-me-ew. Mew.

Meowth: She wants to see Mewtwo get beat by a Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff: Haha!

**Link gets thrown into Roy and they both go off stage and into the Audience**

Audience: Marth! Marth! Marth! Marth!

Roy: Makerarenai! (I can't lose!)

Marth: Konkai wa boku no kachi da ne? XD (Doesn't it seem I am the victor?)

Roy: No, it doesn't!

Marth: But whose the audience cheering for now?!

Roy: ME! *takes off mask; is actually Marth*

Marth: ...o_o

Akutareru: Ok, enough of this stupid costume fight thing. -_- Get off muh stage you people you,...

Sano: So where were we?

Sorata: No idea.

Mew: Mew-me-ew, mew.

Meowth: Weren't we supposed to have submatches involving candy canes or something?

Akutareru: Oh yeah,...completely forgot about that,...Fique, bring in the reindeer.

**Eight reindeer are led onto stage**

Akutareru: Now. You people get to insult a reindeer, pick any reindeer. Five of those reindeer though, will like, eat your hair if you insult it, so be careful. XD

Sano: o_0; My hair,...?

Mew: *has no hair, but fur* x_x

Meowth: *runs*

Sorata: Uh,...*pulls down hat* *whistles*

**Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, Cupid, Donner, Dasher, Vixen, and Comet glare at our three soon-to-be-bald contestants**

Akutareru: Oh yeah, if you still have hair at the end of this, you get a bonus 300 points. =P

Sano: Do we have to insult them? T_T

Akutareru: Yes. Or we'll never see the end of this show . -_-

Sorata: But it's been such a damned long show already! >.<!

Mew: Me-ewmew! >.<!

Sano: Er,...um,...Prancer is stupid because he once pranced right into a tree, got his antlers caught in the branches and had to prance all the way to the,..um,...wolfife jaws? *puts arms over head* Don't eat me!

Prancer: Rarrrr!! *tackles Sano and starts chewing off big chunks o' hair*

Sano: Ahhhhhhhhh!!

Sorata: *gulps* *looks nervously at other reindeer*

Akutareru: Hehe.

**Duo kicks over theatre door and is holding a big giant gun-thing**

Duo: Nyahahah! Give us boring game shows will yah! *cackles*

**Heero, Hiei, & Ryoko all appear behind him with heavy artillary and some things of mystical powers**

Sorata: Cupidisveryuglyandscaresawayallthatmighthavelovedhim! Eeppleasedon'teatme!

Cupid: *snorts, but does nothing*

Sano: Nyyuuuuu!! Injustice! *runs off stage with Prancer trailing after him*

Mew: Mrew. >.>

Duo: Don't ignore me when I'm threatenin' you!

Ryoko: Yeah! Now give us somethin' worth our money!

**Sano runs past them with a reindeer attached to his head**

Hiei: *blinks* Heh.

Heero: THIS is funny. *sits down again*

Ryoko: So it is,...=P

Duo: Hum. Ok then. *sits*

Akutareru: Mew?

Mew: Me-ew. Mewmew, mew, mrowew, mew, mew-ew. >.>

Akutareru: And this translates to?

Meowth: How do aye know that if aye say it the reindeer won't think aye said it?! >.<!

Akutareru: Because,...the reindeer are smart like that,...x_x

**Reindeer snort**

Meowth: ....She said that Donner is stupid and donned a huge hat one day that covered all his antlers and covered his eyes making him crash into this, meowth. >.>

**Donner lowers antlers and runs after Meowth making,...reindeer-y sounds**

Meowth: You said they were smart!!! *runs like hell*

Akutareru: I guess not,...XD

Mew: Mew! XD

Meowth: Your Mewship! >.<!! *runs out of theatre with Donner trailing him*

Sorata: XD I get 300 points!

Akutareru: That'cha do,...

Duo: Does Mew get points even though she insulted the wrong deer?

Hiei: She isn't bald now after all,...

Akutareru: What say you, Audience?

Audience: NO!

Mew: MEW! Me-ewmew! MEW!

Akutareru: Hey, the Audience has spoken,..300 to Sorata, and screw the rest of round two. The score now is 100 Sanosuke, 400 Sorata, and 300 Mew. But EVERYTHING can change in the final round, yup.

Heero: So then there really isn't a point in doing the first two rounds at all.

Akutareru: It takes up time. -_- And I guess it CAN be entertaining,...

Duo: Not really,...not without singing,...

Akutareru: SHUT UP!

Sano: *slinks back in with half his hair gone* I'm gonna kill you, muse.

Meowth: *also slinks back in, naked* I'm gonna kill you, muse.

Akutareru: Only if you win. -_-

Izzy: *yawns* This sure is one helluva long episode. x_x

Akutareru: That's not MY fault,..people keep interrupting with stupid commercials and...SSBM fights. -_-

Izzy: Can't you learn to lock the stage doors?

Akutareru: ....-_-;;;;;;;;

Sorata: So um,...are we gonna finish this or what?

Akutareru: THEY KEEP DISTRACTING ME! >.<!

Duo: Don't bore me or I'll blow the place upppp! *singsong*

Akutareru: Nyu! Fine! All you people bash yourselves!

Sano: Sanosuke is an arrogant bastard that mooches fish and beef stew all the time, never does anything good or useful, and is currently missing half of his never-beautiful hair,...*sulks*

Sorata: Sorata is a good for nothin' priest boy, yup, n' he's dead! XD

Mew: Me-ew. Mew.

Meowth: 'Says she already bashed herself and shouldn't be required to do it again.

Akutareru: She has to.

Mew: Mew.

Meowth: Mew sucks.

Akutareru: Uh-huh,...Audience?

Audience: Sano! 500!

Sano: Perfecto,...? Really? x_x Wooooooooooooow,...

Audience: Sora! 200!

Sorata: WHAT?! But-but, I bashed myself! Insulted myself n' ev'ry'thing! T_T

Audience: Mew! 10!

Mew: Mew!

Meowth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! We lost!

Akutareru: Woo,...so we like, have a sudden death match between Sano and Sorata. And today's sudden death match IS,...

**dramatically suspenseful pause here**

Akutareru: Super Santa Sumo Wrestling,...? o_0;;

Fique: YUP! It's where both contestants dress up in giant fatty Santa suits and try to push each other out of a ring.

Akutareru: What does that have to do with bashing?

Fique: Dunno! But it'll sure look funny! XD

Duo: YEAH! Bishounen in fatty-fat suits! XD

Quatre: Does this mean you'd want to be in a "fatty-fat suit"?

Duo: I'm not a bishounen, I'm better than bishounen! I'm,...houbi.

Tohma: You're the eyebrows of a beautiful woman? o_0

Duo: o_0;; Uh,...maybe not,...*flips through Japanese-English dictionary*

Sano: *glares at Santa suit* You gotta be kiddin' me right?

Sorata: *looks at self in mirror in Santa suit* I look,...very odd,...indeed,...*holds fists up* Ready to get your ass kicked, Sano?

Sano: Who do you think you're TALKIN' to, man? I'm the best figher in Japan!

Sorata: Well we ain't IN Japan, we're in some theatre in some muse's STAGE, and I'M a MAGICAL priest dood. XD Now get in your Santa suit and let's go, man!

Sano: FINE! *dons Santa suit*

**A ring appears out of no where**

Koryu: WOOO!

**They fight and stuff**

**Sorata uses his magicalness; Sanosuke uses his sorta-famed punches and kicks**

**Both find it peculiarly difficult to do these things in giant fatty Santa suits**

**Sanosuke slams all his Christmasy weight into Sora and pushes him out of the wreath ring and into the Audience**

Sorata: Damn! Game over, man,...you're gonna get it now! *summons whatever it is that he can control*

Sanosuke: I WIN! I WIN! MEGUMI DIES! Mweeeee!! *is smacked by Sora's attack, but is protected by layers of Santa fat!*

**Meanwhile, elsewhere, Megumi is dragged off to meet her bloody fate**

Akutareru: And so,...we come to the close of our,...incredibly long and off-tangent Christmas---

Nekoi: Politically correct!

Akutareru: Our HOLIDAY episode of the Bashing Show,...

Zim: You stink! *throws a chunk of metal at Akutareru's head*

Akutareru: *is hit* -_- Good night ladies and gentlemen, and join us next time,...whenever I stop killing the people that put me up to this job,...for the Bashing Show!



*curtains fall and all hell breaks loose backstage*