The Bashing Show! Ep.05

The BASHING SHOW!

Quatre: *violin*

Ryoko: Kopperia no hitsugi! Nagareru namida wa mou karehate... Chi ni ueta kodoku shi wa tenshi no nikoge
no nioi wo sasete mauuuuuu!!!

Quatre: *violin*

Noriko: *synthesizer*

Washu/Ayeka/Sasami as Chorus: Ahhhh, ahhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhh...

Ryoko: Kuroi taiyou ga, shizumanu machi de. Daremo ga damatte kijutsumeki hataraku...! Kinzoku no kabe ni,
kakowareta heya. Watashi wa asa made, shinda you ni nemuruuuuu...!

Kiyone: Anata ga mienai....kono me wa mienai....warera tsukuri tamaishi kamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!

Ryoko: Kopperia no hitsugi! Hito wa odori-tsukareta ningyou...Saidan no hitsuji! Kikai jikake no yume wa doko
ni mukatte yukuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

Washu/Ayeka/Sasami as Chorus: Ahhhh, ahhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhh...

*Sound of scattering people and falling equipment*

Akutareru: *shifty eyes at everyone in room* Hmm...I could have sworn hearing Noir's theme song coming from
in here...

Ryoko: *nervous laugh* You're hearing things, Akutareru...

Ryuichi: Liar! You guys were copying us, na no da!

Matt: Yeah! Our song was better than yours too!

Ryoko: I have no idea what you're talking about!

Washu/Ayeka/Sasami/Kiyone/Quatre/Noriko: *nodnodnodnod*

Ryuichi: *takes out a tape and shoves it into a cassette player*

*Feedback*

Everyone: Hey! *covers ears*

*Static*

*...violin..."Kopperia no hitsugi! Nagareru namida wa mou karehate... Chi ni ueta kodoku shi wa tenshi no
nikoge no nioi wo sasete mauuuuuu!!!" *

Akutareru: *glare at Ryoko & Company*

Matt: HA!

Kiyone: Well, at least we played better than you. u_u

Ryuichi: You must be joking, na no da!

Quatre: We had more people and instruments than you.

Matt: Puh-leeze! You stole Ryuichi's synthesizer person and had a chorus that went 'ahhhh'.

Ryuichi: Noriko, you betrayed me, no da? ;_;

Noriko: *points at Quatre* He pays better than you. XD

Ryoko: The point is we're better than you, so ha!

Washu: It was no contest! All you did was stand there and cough, Ryuichi, what was that?!

Matt: Hey! Hey! At least we didn't have to bribe people to preform with you!

Akutareru: *on loudspeaker* HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? AMERICAN IDOL!?!? HUH?! GET ALL YOUR
ASSES OFF MY STAGE!

*scatter*

Akutareru: *twitchy eye* I forget why I got into showbiz...*glances at camera crew*

Camera Guy: *nervously* We're ready...when you...are...

Audience: *excited murmurs and whispers* (The curtains haven't been raised, but everything can be heard)

Akutareru: *more twitchy eye as he scans the contestant list* *sighs* In five...four...three...two...

*curtains rising...*

Naru: So-otto me-zameruuuu............!!

Quatre: *piano*

Naru: Hakanai omoi....zutto. Donna toki demo negau yo, anata ni todoku you ni to...

Quatre: *piano*

Ryoko: Quatre! You traitor!

Ryuichi: Naru! You copycat, no da!

Chichiri: Look who's calling people copycats, no da!

Quatre: u_u;

Tohma: u_u;

Akutareru: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE STARTED YAMATO!

Matt: I didn't do anything. >_<

Ryuichi: I started it....na no da!

Tea: I'd rather listen to singing that you people bash each other...

Akutareru: Is that so?! HUH?! YOU WANT THIS TO BE THE ANIME IDOL OR SOMETHING?!

Half of Audience: YEAH!

Other Half: HELL NO!

*Audience breaks out in battle*

Akutareru: *veins popping and more twitchy eye*

Yusuke: Akutareru's gonna blow...XD

Inu Yasha: Can SOMEONE introduce me already?!

Lupin: Pfff, I should get introduced first, doggie boy.

Naru: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinjite...!!!

Chorus: Lala,...lala...lalaaaaaaaaaa....

Naru: Shiiiiiiiiii-iiiinnnnjite...!!!

Chorus: Lala,...lala...lalaaaaaaaaaa....

Ryuichi: Dakishimete kitsuku karada wo nani mo ka mo wasuretai kara...!! Haritsumeta hibi ni tsukarete,
okubyou na yoru mo aru yo! Nakitai toki ni sunao ni nakeru tsuyoki wo. Tashikamete uketomete sono mama de
mitsumete...!

Tohma: *synthesizer*

Noriko: *synthesizer*

Botan: Aijou to, nichijou ni negauuuu! Mirai kimi to egaku yo! Ima ijou, kore ijou tsuyokuuuuu mae dake
mitsumete yuku! Motto, zutto, motto, motto...!!!

*Zillions of people go off singing random songs*

blu: Can you people speak English!?

Hiei: I want my money back!

Heero: Yeah!

Duo: This is so cool! XD *grabs a mic* On the road to Viridian City!! I'm on my way, I'm on the road, I'm on the
road! On the road to Viridian City!! Yeah, yeah. I'm on the road!

Everyone: x_x;;;;;;;;;;;;; *falls over*

Ash: Yay!

Everyone: *contributes in destroying Ash*

Pikachu: ^_^

*Chaos continues!*

Matt: Semenai de!! Kesanai de!! Makenai de!! Dare datte motteru...!! Hazu yuzurenai mono!! Ai dake yume
dake kimi dake!! Sore dake ha hanasanai...!! Donna toki demo...!

Hiro: *guitar rift*

Washu: Yamerarenai yamerarenai! Yamerarenai yamerarenai!!

Akutareru: Yamerarenai...indeed...gahhh...EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!! *pulls power plug*

*All electronic instruments go out, all microphones go out*

*screeching halt*

Noriko: You killed my synthesizer!

*Noriko explodes*

Akutareru: *twitch* Anyone else who wants to make music can join her...

Matt: *pulls out a saxophone and plays first six notes of Bebop's beginning theme*

Duo: *somehow manages all other instruments needed for that piece*

*Matt & Duo explode*

Ryuichi: MUSICCAALLLL KAMIIIIKAZEEEEEE!!! Garasu no bedo ni toraware no motion, tesaguri de shukujo
wa kamikuda----

*Ryuichi explodes*

Shuichi: Sakuma-sama...;_;

Akutareru: Anyone else?

Everyone: *shrinks back, secretly plotting future plots*

Akutareru: *grumble* You people wasted half the damn show...but uh...-_- Our contestants today are...Inu
Yasha...

Inu Yasha: FINALLY...

Kagome: *eye roll*

Inu Yasha: You got somethin' tah say to me!?

Shippou: Inu Yasha..I wouldn't..

Kagome: SIT!!

*Inu Yasha falls to ground*

Shippou: Do that. u_u

Akutareru: Lupin the third....

Lupin: Howdy doo! n_n

Akutareru: And....Ho..ta..ru...

Hotaru: Greetings...*creepy evil look*

Audience: *scattered applause, still busy stuffing musical instruments down their pants for fear of the psycho
muse*

Akutareru: *long glare*

Inu Yasha: *AHEM*

Akutareru: *blink* Uh...and so we start! ROUND ONE!

*ding*

**Image of Hotohori appears**

Lupin: *jumps up and points* THE CROSSDRESSER!!!

Nuriko: *stands up in Audience* I OBJECT! .... I'm the crossdresser. u_u

Tasuki: But uh, half the time we really don't know your gender anyway, you little...'I am my sister'...thing...x_x

Nuriko: u_u; Shut up.

Inu Yasha: Hotohori is a loser emperer who likes the flakehead Miaka.

Akutareru: Flakehead...heeeeeeeehehehe...100 Inu Yasha. Yay! This show's finally getting going today. XD

*random giggles from backstage and in Audience*

**Image of Hamtaro eating sushi appears**

Hotaru: *hiss* The HAMSTER....

Duo: I LIKE SUSHI!

Trowa: .... Didn't you...explode...?

Duo: Uh-huh! XD

Heero: You can't kill idiots. u_u;; I've tried. Oh so I have tried.

Lupin: Hmmm...*rubs chin* That thing looks...interesting...

Inu Yasha: Hamtaro! The next Pikachu! 'Nuff said. XD

Pikachu: HEY! I OBJECT!

Vulpix: I don't. ^_^;

Charmander: That's so mean....;_;

Togepi: *trills*

Akutareru: 100, Inu Yasha. =P

Pikachu: *glare* You're all against me...

Miroku: Psh, well, duh. You're an overpopular yellow rat with the most annoying trainer. u_u

Pikachu: But I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM! WHY DOES HE STILL LIIIIVVEEE!!?!?!?!!

Heero: I TOLD you...Idiots cannot be killed...>_<

**Image of Frieza appears**

Lupin: It's the robot alien! That-that...uh...hey am I getting paid for this job?

Fujiko: Uh, no, no you're not.

Lupin: Huh. That sucks. =/

Hotaru: Herm....Frieza is evil. That in itself is bad enough.

Audience: BOOOO!! *throws stuff*

Inu Yasha: This is gonna be SUCH an easy win...Frieza is an idiotic freak that has a really, REALLY bad dub
voice...haha.

Akutareru: 100 Inu Yasha. C'mon people, be some competition!

*A person stands up in the back of the Audience*

Faye: Aishiteta to nagekuuuuuu ni wa,...Amari ni mo toki, wa sugi te shimattaaaahhh...Mada kokoro no
hokorobi o Iyasenumama kaze ga fuiteruuuu...!!

Wufei: *throws a rotten apple* You suck, woman!

Faye: HEY! I'll have you know that---

*Faye Explodes*

Akutareru: Ahem...

**Image of Kaiba appears**

Hotaru: *monotone* Kaiba is a sadistic loser that has an obsession with defeating Yugi. He has no life
whatsoever and is running a huge company whilst still in high school.

*silence*

Joey: AMEN!

Pochacho: WEE!

Akutareru: 100 Hotaru. XD

Kaiba: I'll have your head for this...*slinks off*

**Image of Zoycite appears**

Lupin: I hear that chick is a guy, heheh

Sesshoumaru: He is a guy.

Nagi: They just edited him to a girl in the dub. u_u

Zoycite: ....

Inu Yasha: Uh....Zoycite is a loser. u.u

Audience: ..... .....

Sage: Yane no ue de sora o aogu, hizashi wa uraraka miageru sora, karadajuu genki ga minagitteku! THAT'S
SO WONDERFUL! Ikiterunda! Yamerarenai, akirameru da nante!!!

Audience: ........ ....

Rowen: Seiji...you sound...SO WRONG....singing that....o_0;

*Sage explodes*

Akutareu: Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyway. 100 Inu Yasha, and end round one.

Lupin: Hey! I didn't get nuffin!

Akutareru: Not my fault. Mmm...cut to commercial.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, kids! It's time for SINGING WITH SARIA!

Akutareru: NO SINGING!

Uh. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, kids! It's NOT time for SINGING WITH SARIA!

Bored out of your mind?! WELL! Ain'tchu the stinky one!? Uh, uh, go read Broken Harmany and uh, I dunno...go
insane and start seeing things. XD

Ohhhh, put me back, in a rubber shoe! OHHHHHH!! Put me back in that rubber shoe, oh, shoe, oh, shooooeee!
OH YEAH!

Akutareru: We need a bigger budget...x_x

Hey, hey! Uncle Jimmy wants YOU to donate to Akutareru's sorry show!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Akutareru: ROUND TWO! BEGIN!

*ding*

Ryoko: Tachi mukau saki ni kawaita kaze. Hageshiku fuki aretemo, jumon no hitotsu mo tonaetanara. Watashi
no peesu ni naruu!

*Ryoko explodes*

Akutareru: u_u *reads card* This person is a smelly doggie demon prettyboy with a dumbass servent.

Inu Yasha: Sesshoumaru. ^_^

Jaken: I'm not a servent!

Sesshoumaru: *no comment*

Jaken: Yes...I am. x_x

Akutareru: 50, Inu Yasha. *reads* Stinky white kitty thing named for a goddess! Why is he named after a
goddess!?

Lupin: I need to win this. >_<

Asuka: Why? You ain't gettin' no money.

Lupin: I wanna win for the sake of winning. u_u

Asuka: Ain't doin' a very good job at it. =P

Hotaru: Artemis.

Washu: FOWL!

Serena: Dare ka ga misairu tobashite, subete ga owaru hi wo, kokoromachi ni shiteru you na kibun wa nan
darouuuu!

*Serena explodes*

Akutareru: 50 Hotaru.

Lupin: Man, I suck. ;_;

*The entire last row of the Audience stands up*

Tohma: *synthesizer*

Matt: *bobbing head to music*

Noriko: *synthesizer*

Hiro: *guitar*

Fujisaki: *synthesizer*

Shuichi: Chachina ai o kasanete, samayou ore no kokoro ni
mou ichido sameta kuchibiru! Abunai atsu ga hoshikute..

Shuichi/Ryuichi/Matt: Jurejurenaru kisetsu niiiii!!

*music*

Ryuichi: Zaratsuku ashiato kara jigujigu hibiku rikutsu, kimagure o moteasobu ore wa seisha? Eki ni tatanai
mune no taka nari wa chotto osaete. Tobikiri ka suru ROMIO mado ni warauuuu...

Matt: Do you believe in minnnnnnnnnnnnnnd? Yaburi tsunaida meiro no chizu...Can you believe a lie? Shiketa
yoru ni mai agaruuuuu...

Hiro: *guitar*

Akutareru: WHAT IS YOU PEOPLE'S PROBLEM!? HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO KILL YOU?!!?

*Nittlegrasper + Bad Luck + Matt completely ignore him*

Shuichi: Shai ni ai o katareba! Hiwai ni tsume o tateteruuuu...yure dasu aoi mayoi ga tadayou toriko no machi
ni, oyobanai mademo chikazuki kasoku maitesure chigau, tomaranai aoru kuchibiru kire sou na ito wa kara
maruuuu!

Akutareru: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?

Taichi: Give into the music....give in...give in...to the music....

Akutareru: NEVVAAHHHHH!! NOOOO! BASHING! BASHING! BASHING!!

*music continues*

Akutareru: *holds his head like a psychopath* Who, uh, who...

*MUSIC*

Akutareru: *rocking back and forth* Who...who is the eyebrow queen of the colonies!?!?

Lupin: DOROTHY!! I WIN!

*music pauses temporarily*

Ryuichi: NUUUU! We must win, no da!! THE SECRET WEAPON!

*synthesizers!!!*

*Fangirls scream*

Akutareru: 50 Lupin! Arrgghahahahaha!!! *wildly searches for next question card*

Inu Yasha: ....x_x;

Ryuichi & Shuichi: Tooku de me o hi-ikarasete, mezameru monotachi ma-aatte iru. Yoru no jouheki
sasowarete, utsurisumu mure no nukegara ni!

Matt: Deguchi no nai!

Ryuichi: Shougeki ni taeru tsumori nara....!!

Matt: Kuzureru hodo!

Shuichi: Itsuwari no misete....!!

*Fangirls scream!*

Akutareru: Who's the idioticly pacifist geneticly engineered plant dude!?!?

Ryuichi & Shuichi: Umarekawareru anata yo hitori hohoemanaide, hitomi o irodoruuuuu! Nozonda sekai ga
totsuzen hai ni natte mo, kiseki ni mada meguriaeru---

Matt: Sotto daikishimete kowasu you ni!

Tohma: *synthesizer*

Inu Yasha: I know this one!! Garrgggg!!

Lupin: Uh...damnit...I like this song...x_x;

Hotaru: *monotone* Vash the Stampede.

Heero: I have a headache...5_5 *head pounding to music*

Ryuichi & Shuichi: Muku na mama de, sarasarete. Hanabira o chirasu hana no you ni! Migaku houseki te no
naka no, hibi ni sae kizukihajimeteruuuu!!

*Half the Audience is singing along*

*Other half is screaming for them to shut up*

blu: @_@

Akutareru: 50 Hotaru!! x_x Mustn't give in...!!

Hiro: Give into the music!!

Akutareru: NEVER! Who is the egoisticist non-TV watching loser in Tokyo!?

Matt: Tsumetai te ga!

Ryuichi: Nukeochita toge o hirou kara...!

Matt: Madoromu hi ga!

Shuichi: Kusuburitsuzukeru...!

Inu Yasha: REI! HOOCHAAA!!

Akutareru: YES! 50, dog boy! *psychotic laughter* WE WILL BEAT THE MUSIC!!

*synthesizers pound louder*

*Fangirls scream!*

Ryuichi & Shuichi: Ima mo todokanu hikari no yukue, azayaka ni mau omoi o egakouuuu!! Michibiku kotoba ga
koborete shimawanu you ni, utsuru toki o osorenaide!

Akutareru: WHO HAS A SORRY SINGING VOICE!? MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hotaru: Ryuichi.

Lupin: Yamato.

Inu Yasha: Shuichi.

Akutareru: ALL RIGHT! 50 to all! MUWAHAHA!! *ish insane like, yo*

*BIG OL' Intrumental soli*

*Audience Fights*

Akutareru: FINAL ROUND!! CURRENT SCORE! Inu Yasha puppy boy 550, Lupin the terd 100, and Hotaru the
silent freak 250!

Lupin: I OBJECT! I'm not a terd...;_;

Ryuichi & Shuichi & Half the Audience: Umarekawari no anata yo, hitori hohoemanaide, hitomi o irodoruuuu!!
Nozonda sekai ga totsuzen hai ni natte mo kiseki wa mada megurikuru---Todokanu hikari no yukue, azayaka ni
mau omoi o egakouuuu!! Michibiku kotoba ga koborete shimawanu you ni, utsuru toki o osorenaide--!!

Matt: SOTTO DAIKISHIMETE, ZUTTO TSUZUKAMETE, MOTTO KOKORO MADE, KOWASU YOU NI!

*Fangirls SCREAM*

Akutareru: BASH J00r SELF!

Inu Yasha: Inu Yasha is a halfbred loser demon-human thing with a sorry attitude and personal problems!
GAAHHHH!

Lupin: LUPIN IS the best thief in the whole whole whole whole whole whole whole whole whole WIDE WORLD!
NYEEHHHH! YOU ALL SUCK!

Hotaru: *explodes*

Akutareru: What the hell?! x_x;;;; OH WHO CARES!? You people vote!

Audience: 450 Inu Yasha! 0 Lupin!

Akutareru: So the puppy wins! WHO DIES!? WHO DIES?!

Inu Yasha: KAGOME!!

Kagome: SIT!

Inu Yasha: *falls over* *gets back up* DIE!

Kagome: SIT!

Inu Yasha: *falls over* *gets back up* DIE!

Kagome: SIT!

Inu Yasha: *falls over* *gets back up* DIE!

Kagome: SIT!

Inu Yasha: *falls over* Goddamnit someone restrain her!

Kagome: NOOO! SIT! SIT! SIT!

Inu Yasha: OWWW....!!! x_x

Shippou: XD

*Sudowoodo & SkullMeramon grab Kagome and hold her still*

Kagome: SIT!

Inu Yasha: *falls over* SHUT HER MOUTH?!

*A bird flies into Kagome's mouth*

Kagome: MUFFF----EETTTTT!!!

Inu Yasha: *crackles knuckles* ^___^

*Kagome is destroyed in some horribly gruesome way* ^_^

Akutareru: FINALLY! YAY! WE CAN END THIS! MUWAHAHAH! NO MORE MUSIC!

GIR: Aw, man.

*curtains fall*

Fique: Maaannn, The Bashing Show is so much bullshit. XD

Sikeeh: A cookie for anyone who can name all those songs. XD!

Next Chapter