The Bashing Show! Ep.03

The BASHING SHOW!

Akutareru: *comes in wearing a ton of bandages, a cast and crutches on* Hello everyone. They WERE gonna cancel my show, but I said NO! So here I am in my injuredness. -_-;

Hiei: *snicker*

Audience: *light laughter*

Akutareru: Er, anyway, we're going to go on as planned! And today's contestants ARE.....WUFEI!

Wufei: Hn.

Akutareru: VEGETA!

Vegeta: Hn.

Akutareru: And MATT!

Matt: S'up!?!?!?

Audience: *cheers*

Akutareru: Oh yeah, we're adding this little 'intro' part to the show cuz otherwise the show cuts off at 25 minutes instead of 30 even with the commercial. ^_^ So, tell us about your self Wufei?

Wufei: Hn.

Akutareru: If you don't, we'll have Duo tell for you!

Wufei: Ack! No! Er-----I like beef!

Akutareru: ...um, no, Duo!

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Duo: *screaming from audience* WUFFIE! Is a PEACE DUDE! And going out with SALLY! The CROSSANT HAIRED LADY! And--

Wufei: SHUT UP MAXWELL!

Akutareru: -_-; Let's not have the ambulence come so early in the show eh? How 'bout you Vegeta?

Vegeta: Hn.

Akutareru: Oh come on! Are you ALL like this!?

Vegeta: Fine, fine, I'm a jobless saiyan that trains all the time. That's me, happy!?

Akutareru: Arigatou. Yamato?

Matt: *high on pixie stix* I'm ISHIDA YAMATO! HEAD of muh beautiful BAND! I'm so COOL! *throws free T-shirts into audience*

Fangirls: EEEEEEE!! *fights for merchendise*

Akutareru: -_-; Whatever, I knew that was a bad idea...um, let's get started shall we?

Ayeka: Gimme that shirt Ryoko! I got it first!

Hotaru: No way! MINE! GIVE IT HERE, MIAKA!

Botan: I got this shirt FIRST! Go get your own! ARRG!

Janine: Get your bloody paws away from me! It's MINE!

Asuka: *screeches* It's MINE MINE MINE MINE! QUATRE! Not YOURS! MINE! *hiss!*

*cat fights break out among many audience members*

Akutareru: *eyes Matt* *eye twitches* -_o; FIRST ROUND! BASH THE CHARACTER ON SCREEN FOR 100 EACH!

Audience: *shuts up and cheers*

Akutareru: Finally....

Vegeta: Humph.

**Niwa Daisuke appears on screen**

Wufei: .....Who the hell is that?

Matt: Heheh, he ugly, hey Motomiya! Any relation!?

Davis: NO! He just has my name! x_x

Akutareru: Doesn't anyone know this guy?

Vegeta: .........

Matt: *rings bell* One day Daisuke goes and gets run over by a train because he's a loser and...stuff. ^_^

Akutareru: -_-; Um, judges? Was that good?

Judges: *thumbs up*

Akutareru: Ok...100 to Yama.

Digi-Team: Nooooooooo!

Matt: HEY! Why ain't chu rooting for me?!

Tai: Cuz if you win! You're gonna beat one of US up!

Matt: Hm, probably.

Vegeta & Wufei: *fuming*

Akutareru: Anyway...next one.

**picture of Pan appears on screen**

Vegeta: *rings bell* The bloody granddaughter of Kakkarot bawls her brains out cuz she can't do anything right because she's too BITCHY!

Akutareru: Alright. 100 to Vegeta.

Pan: Kisima!!

Vegeta: *sneers* Domo arigatou!

Wufei: I'll get one right...I'll win this...and beat the crap out of...

**picture of Misty appears**

Matt: *rings bell* MISTY! Is a little redhead peehead! Cuz she hangs out with ASH! 'NUFF SAID!

Akutareru: Correcto. 100 more to Yama.

Wufei: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..

Ash: Why does everyone HATE meeee!?!?! *sobs*

**many items are thrown in Ash's direction to shut him up**

**picture of Shendo Shuuichi appears**

Wufei: *rings bell* Shuuichi is a fool cuz he...iS ALWAYS CRYING AND SHIT! And, and, um, he can never do anything right if Yuki isn't nice to him!

Akutareru: 100, Wufei.

Hiroshi: You forgot to say about his unbelieveable stupidity and naive-ness.

Shuuichi: Hiro-kun!?! ;_;

Yuki: Heheheheheh.

Tohma: Yare yare*

Ryuuichi: Don't be mean to Shuu-kun! *throws Kuma at Wufei* KUMAGOROU BEAM!

Wufei: *gets hit* K'so! BAKA! *tears the rabbit to bloody shreds* MUWHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

Ryuuichi: Noooo!! KUMA! *dives on stage and gathers broken pieces of his stuffed rabbit* ;_;

Akutareru: AHEM! -_-;

**picture of Yugi appears on screen**

Matt: *rings bell* BUwahahaha!! Yugi is so SHORT! He'd only come up to like Vegeta's waist, and VEGETA is SHORT! Buwahahah!!

Vegeta: *twitches eye* Grrrr....

Tea: That's not nice! Yugi could beat you ALL in a duel!

Akutareru: The show isn't supposed to be NICE! And no one CARES about DUELS here! 100 to Yama. And end of first round! Wufei and Vegeta each with 100, Yamato with 300

Audience: *cheers*

Tai: Aw, man, Yamato is winning! -_-;

Sora: We'll miss you when you die, Tai. ^_^;

Izzy: Can I have your stuff?

Wufei: I WILL WIN! I WILL! CURSE YOU ISHIDA!

Matt: I'm so cool. =D

Akutareru: In the 2nd round! I get to read bashings off notecards and you tell me who I'm bashing. Ready?

Vegeta: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Wufei: I MUST win! It's INJUSTICE not to!

Matt: I'm so cool. =D

Akutareru: Ok..*reads* This person is sexist and has a very SCREWED up sense of justi--

Vegeta/Matt: WUFEI!

Wufei: *at same time as them* ME!

Akutareru: Hm, ok,..50 each. *reads* Hm, fat, eats a lot, ugly,..outgrows 4 sets of armor a month...

Wufei: Kento!

Vegeta: *fuming* I'm the prince of all saiyans...I NEED TO WIN!

Matt: *raspberry*

Akutareru: Hai, that's right--

Sage: Kento outgrows 5 sets of armor a month! Not 4!

Rowen: And eating a lot is a MAJOR understatement!

Ryo: And he's REALLY ugly!

Cye: -_-;

Kento: Gimme more burgers! *burp*

Akutareru: ANYWAY....*reads* Short, red-eyed little freak,...bad attitude, kinda like Vegeta..

Vegeta: HEY! I'll send you to the next dimension!

Matt: Er....

Wufei: Hiei! The fool I sword fought in the lobby...

Hiei: I WON YOU BASTARD!

Yusuke/Kurama/Kuwabara: -_-;;

Akutareru: Er, 50 more to Wufei.

Vegeta: How can I be LOSING!?

Trunks: You don't watch enough anime! You don't even know these people!

Vegeta: At least I'm not some loser otaku like everyone else!!

Trunks: Your loss!

Vegeta: ARGG!

Akutareru: Last one, then we go to commercial. *reads* Hm, loser crybaby pilot,..bad hair cut,..has a stupid name...um..yeah.

Audience: ............

Matt: You know your descriptions are getting worse and worse.

Akutareru: I'm not the one writting them. =/

Wufei: Kou Uraki! Sorry excuse for a Gundam pilot!

Kou: HEY! At least I don't live in some Alternate Universe!

Domon: WHAT!? All us AU Gundams rock your sorry UC Timeline!

Shiroh: You WISH!

Jamil: No way! WE OWN! AU Gundams rule!

Amuro: You must be DREAMING! The UC Timeline is the original and the BEST!

Alfred: YEAH!

Heero: Yeah RIGHT! Can't you just admit that all the AU timelines ruled you over!?

Zechs: YEAH! AU Gundams ROCK!

Char: How can you rock you when've stolen my MASK?!

Haman: Yeah! We started it and you copied us!

**All Gundam characters from all and any Gundam series break out in a fight**

Akutareru: -_-;;;;;;;; Um, 50 to Wufei..and commercial.

Vegeta: Injustice.

Matt: I'm still winning. ^_^

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**The stage is a hopeless wreck, several Gundam parts are scattered about. There are holes in the ceiling, and half the audience has disappeared.**

Wufei: *all beat up looking* ...............

Vegeta: *smothering laughs*

Matt: I'm gonna wiiin, I'm gonna wiiin. ^_^

Akutareru: And now, the final round of The Bashing Show! Where each contestant gets to--

Erika: There's a BIG CHUNK OF METAL thats SQUISHING my vileplume!

Vegeta: SHUT UP! *blows up the Gundam part and the vileplume*

Erika: @_@;

Akutareru: Thank you. As I was saying, it's the last round and the contestants get to bash themselves and the audience gets to decide how many points you get accordingly. Neh. You got five minutes.

Tai: Somebody! Don't let Matt win! He'll killlll meeeee!! o_0;

Izzy: You never answered me, can I have your stuff?

Tai: No, I'm giving all my stuff to our cat.

Kari: We have a cat?

Gatomon: I ate her.

Tai: .....

Heero: I hope Wufei wins.

Quatre: Why'zzat?

Heero: Then Duo will die.

Trowa: Hehehehe.

Duo: ;_; Don'tchu wuv me anymore?

Ryuuichi: I HOPE WUFEI DIES A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE DEATH! *sniffles* *hugs stitched-back-together-Kumagorou*

Tatsuha: ^^;;; Calm down Ryuu-kun.

Ryuuichi: Shut up, Tatsuha. *pout*

Tohma: Yare yare*. -_-;

Trunks: I hope dad doesn't win.

Goten: Why?

Trunks: What?! You want me to die too!?

Goten: .....

Akutareru: Time's up! Who's first!?

Matt: Me! Me! I'm gonna WIN!

Akutareru: Go ahead, Yamato.

Matt: Ishida "Matt" Yamato is a BIG POOHEAD! Coz he can't SING! And he can't PLAY GUITAR! And he BUTT-UGLEH! ^_^ *hic*

Akutareru: *mutters* And he's still high. Anyway, next?

Wufei: Hn. Wufei is JUSTICEBOY! The freaked up JUSTICEFREAK! Who loves to preach of JUSTICE! And talks to his Gundam as if it were a PERSON! And is obsessed with JUSTICECRAP! -_-;

Akutareru: *thinking: And if you say JUSTICE, one more time, I'm gonna kill you...* Good, good, Vegeta?

Vegeta: HUMPH! I REFUSE! The Prince of all Saiyans HAS NO FLAWS!

Akutareru: Your loss, you get default score of 0. ^_^ Audience, for Yama-kun?

Matt: Don't call me Yama-kun. *pout*

Audience: 450!

Matt: Yatta! 800 points for me! I'm gonna win!

Akutareru: Wu-chan?

Wufei: WU-CHAN!? WU-CHAN! WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!?!?

Heero: BUWAHAHA!!

Duo: *pout* Only I get to piss Wu-chan off with that name....

Audience: 500!

Matt: WHAT THE HELL!? A perfect score!? YOU RIGGED THE VOTING SYSTEM!

Akutareru: Amazing, it's a TIE! TIEBREAKER!

Audience: *cheers*

Akutareru: Cya, Veggie-chan, you're not apart of this no more. ^^

Vegeta: ARG! How DARE you call me that!?

Akutareru: Blah, your fangirls do it all the time.

Vegeta: ARG! I'll kill them all! *flies off through a hole in the roof*

Akutareru: Annnnnyway, Yama-kun, Wu-chan, first one to ring the bell and bash a randomly selected audience member wins.

Matt: Grrrrrr...*eyes Wufei*

Wufei: Grrrrr...*eyes Matt*

Akuareru: And today's randomly selected audience member is...................

Audience: *inhales in anticipation*

Akutareru: ............Invader Zim.

Audience: *gasps*

Matt: That's not fair! Zim isn't one of us!

Wufei: Yeah! He's a....WESTERN CREATION!

Tai: I like Zim, he's neeeaaattttt.

Washu: Meeeeeee, toooooooooooo.

Akutareru: Are you gonna bash the guy or not!?

**Matt and Wufei glare at each other**

Wufei: *rings bell* Zim is a dumbbolt alien who thinks he's all that and wants to take over the world but can't cuz he's a LOSER!

Matt: *rings bell a split second after Wufei* Zim is a short little green dude who thinks the Tallests gave him the PRIVILLEGE of invading the world, but their really tricking him, but he doesn't know cuz he's a POO!

Akutareru: Sorry, Yama-kun, Wufei wins by a split second.

Matt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Tai: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Matt: ARG! FUCK YOU TAI! I was goona beat Izzy up anyway! But now I think I'll kill you! *leaps off the stage and starts strangling Tai*

Tai: AIEEEEEEE!!

Wufei: BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Akutareru: ^^;;; Um, congraulations Wufei, who would you like to beat up today?

Wufei/Heero/Trowa: MAXWELL!

Akutareru: *nods to Sudowoodo and Ogremon* You heard 'um.

Duo: Noooo! Noooooooooo!! Why meeeeeeeee?!!? Just because of some harmless coffee!?!?! Noooooooo!!

**Duo is dragged on stage by henchmen**
**Duo is tied to a giant metal rod**
**Duo is suspended over a giant pot of boiling stew and starving pihranas**
**Duo is chopped up into little tiny pieces by Wufei's sword**
**Duo Soup is served as part of the dinner party for the audience**

Wufei: ^_^

Akutareru: Thanks for joining us folks! Come back next time, for a new episode, of THE BASHING SHOW!!! GOOD NIGHT!

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