The Bashing Show! Ep.01

The BASHING SHOW!

Akutareru: Welcome to the Bashing Show! I, Akutareru, Kiriska's humor muse, will be your host today!

Audience: YAAAYYYY!!

Akutareru: Today our three contestants are...Pikachu!

Pikachu: Yo!

Akutareru: Yusuke!

Yusuke: Get on with it.

Akutareru: And Ryoko!

Ryoko: Hiyas! Hehehehe.

Akutareru: Let's get started shall we?

Audience: Yeeeaahhhhh!!

Akutareru: The point of this game is to see how well you can bash people! The better you bash, the more points you get! The person with the most points at the end of the show gets to beat up the person of their choice!

Everyone: WOOOOO!!

Akutareru: How, here's round one, a picture of a person will appear on the screen and you all have 30 seconds to think of a sentence or two to bash that person. First person to ring their bell gets to go first, if they get it, we go to the next character, if not, the next person who rang their bell will go, understand?

Pikachu/Yusuke/Ryoko: YEAH!

Akutareru: Each character is 100 points! First one!

**picture of Ash Ketchum appears**

Pikachu: *rings bell* One day Ash finds a wild Pokemon and gets eaten by it because he has to use his Pokedex to find out what the hell it is, and it so happens to be a bloodthirsty houndoom! Yay!

Akutareru: Erm, ok, 100 points to Pikachu. Next...

**picture of Ayeka appears**

Ryoko: *rings bell* The dirty, perfect princess of Jurai trips on a rock, breaks a nail and runs off screaming never to return becuz well, her nail is broken! Yay! Tenchi's all mine! WOOOO!!

Akutareru: Er...ok..100 points to Ryoko, next.

**picture of Matt Ishida appears**

Pikachu/Yusuke/Ryoko: *thinking*

Yusuke: *rings bell* Matt goes off to sing one day and all his fangirls shoot him becuz his voice sucks more than all boybands EVER! MUWAHAHAH!!!

Audience Fangirls: BOOOOO!!

Yusuke: HEY!

Akutareru: Um, ok, 100 points to Yusuke.

Audience: BOOOO!!

Akutareru: SHUT UP! Next!

**picture of Vegeta appears**

Pikachu: *rings bell* Vegeta puts on a pink shirt and rolls of a cliff!

Akutareru: ........

Audience: .........

Akutareru: Um, no.

Yusuke: *rings bell* Vegeta marches into the women's clothing department and spends all day trying on new styles of crossdressing!

Audience: *laughter*

Akutareru: 100 to Yusuke. End of round ONE! Pikachu has 100, Yusuke 200, and Ryoko 100. The next round is easier, i will read a sentence that discribes the bashable characteristics of a character, and you tell me the character! 50 points a question. Ok, let's go...

Pikachu: I NEED to WIN! I NEED to BEAT up ASH! *pantpant* Heheheh!

Akutareru: Ok....anyway...*reading off notecards* 'This dumbass likes to hang around one of the most hateable characters in all the anime world...Ash Ketchum!'

Yusuke & Ryoko: *ring bell* PIKACHU!

Pikachu: HEEEYYYY!! Wot kinda of question is that?! I HATE ASH! THAT'S NOT COOL!

Akutareru: Er..hey, that's what the card says ok? 50 each for Ryoko and Yusuke.

Pikachu: I'm going to KILL the person who wrote this! ARG!

Akutareru: Next one. *reads* 'This idiotic little bitch is whiny, stupid, and latches onto poor Tamahome like a flea to smelly dogs.'

Ryoko: *rings bell* MIAKA!! She's almost as bad as little Miss Ayeka!

Akutareru: Um, correct, 50 to Ryoko.

Pikachu: *grumble, grumble*

Akutareru: Next question..*reads* 'This little person is actually pretty well loved, but she's still QUITE bitchy, annoying, whiny and uh, lives to teases that poor robot that swallowed the dragon radar...WE HATE HER!'

Pikachu: *rings bell* PAN! MUWAHAH! So glad Togepi had me watch 'GT yesterday...

Akutareru: That is correct, 50 to Pikachu..

Yusuke: I knew that...

Akutareru: *reads* 'This person is probably the most hated of the show, and one of the ugliest anime chicks ever! She's just as bad as Miaka and Ayeka when it comes to the bishies in the show...unfortuantely she's an important little...thing.'

Yusuke: Uh,..Botan?

Botan: HEY! *throws a tomato at Yusuke*

Yusuke: OW!

Akutareru: Um, no.

Pikachu: Uh...Misty? No she ain't worth shit in the show...

Ryoko: *rings bell* RELENA!

Akutareru: That's right.

Heero: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH! Omae o korosu!

Relena: Eeee! Heero! There you are!

Heero: AIEEEE!!

Audience: ............

Akutareru: ....um...*reads* 'Stupid, bitchy, greedy, and um, well, Mayakashi hates her...'

Everyone: *blinkblinkblink*

Akutareru: Aw, just take a wild guess!

Pikachu: Right, do you know HOW many people can fit that description?

Yusuke: I know! *rings bell* FAYE! Heheheh...

Akutareru: ...How'd you know?

Ryoko: *blinkblink*

Yusuke: I have magical psychic powers and you shall never know, muwahahah!!

Audience: ............

Akutareru: Ok, um, last one here. *reads* 'This person enjoys soccer, acting like a complete and total dumbass, stealing other people's goggles *cough* And calling TK the stupidest names.'

Pikachu: *rings bell* DAVIS!

Davis: HEY! I RESENT THAT!

Akutareru: That is correct...and that's the--

**Davis dives up on stage and starts strangling the muse**

Akutareru: AIIEEEEEE!! GET OFF ME!

Davis: I DON'T STEAL GOGGLES!

Ryoko: You don't deny the other stuff?

Pikachu: Hehehehehe...

Davis: Um..well...wait...ARG!

Akutareru: ACK! Fine, be that way!

**Davis disappears*

Yusuke: Where'd he go?

Akutareru: The pit of Kabahoshi.

Audience: *gulp*

Akutareru: As I was saying, that was the end of round two. Pikachu has 200, Yusuke 300, and Ryoko 250.

Pikachu: *gritted teeth* Must win...game...must....win...kill..Ash...!

Yusuke: *smirk*

Akutareru: The final round...each of you, must BASH YOUSELF! You each have 5 minutes to write it down, and the Audience shall judge them. The highest you can get is 500 points. Ready,...set...

Yusuke: How am I supposed to bash myself!? I'm perfect!

Ryoko: YEAH!

Pikachu: *glower*

Akutareru: You figure it out! GO!

Pikachu: *starts scribbling wildly*

Ryoko: .... *thinks* *writes some* *thinks* ....

Yusuke: This is impossible! I'm perfect...the hero! I can't be bashed! *stubborn*

.....

Audience: *waits excitely*

Akutareru: Ok, time's up! Pikachu, you go first.

Pikachu: *humph* Pikachu is a stupid little yellow rat who loves and adores Ash Dumbass, the hero of the show. Pikachu is stupid coz he actually listens to the shitass commands his trainer gives to him. 'Thunder that Golem, Pikachu!' 'Pika!' Yes, they are both stupid indeed. PIKACHU SUCKS!

Audience: *cheers*

Ryoko & Yusuke: *blinkblink* ..............

Akutareru: Very nice...um, go, Yusuke.

Yusuke: Um, well, ...I...Yusuke...is..um, not...cool, because...he, is....PERFECT! ARG! I AM PERFECT! I CANNOT BASH MYSELF!

Audience: BOOOOOO!!!

Kuwabara: I can bash you for you, Urameshi!

Akutareru: Nope, nope, too bad...Ryoko?

Ryoko: Er...I...I mean, Ryoko..is s-s-stupid-d-d coz she's aflirthycrazylittlebitchwhobestupid. Arg! No!

Akutareru: What was that? Can you repeat?

Ryoko: NO! No! I'm not a whiny little bitch you bastards! LIES! LIES! Tenchi is MINE! MINE! MINE! *laughs maniacly*

Akutareru: Er...audience...how many points for Ryoko's preformance?

Audience: *murmer* *murmer* 100!

Akutareru: Very well, 100 points. Ryoko's final score is 350. And Yusuke?

Audience: ZEROOOOOOO!!

Yusuke: WHHHAAAATTTTTTT?!?!?! YOU LITTLE NO GOOD...!!

Akutareru: Heheh...Yusuke's final score is 300. And Pikachu?

Audience: *murmer* *murmer* *murmer* *murmer* 450!!!

Yusuke & Ryoko: WHAAATTTT!! NOOOOOO!!

Akutareru: And that makes Pikachu's final score 650!! And the winner!

Pikachu: YES! YES! YES! MUWAHAHAHAHAH!!! YES!

Audience: *cheers*

Akutareru: And so, Pikachu, who would you like to beat to a bloody pulp today?

Audience & Pikachu: ASH KETCHUM!!!

Ash: No! Pikachu! WHHHYYYY?!?! NoooooOOOOOOooooo!!!!

Akutareru: You heard them! Guards! Drag out the victim!

**SkullMeramon & Sudowoodo drag Ash to stage**

Pikachu: Muwahahahaha...!!

Akutareru: Everyone stand back!

**Pikachu thunderwaves Ash, he is paralized**
**Pikachu thunders Ash, he is now black and toasty**
**Pikachu skull bashes Ash's face, knocking out teeth**
**Pikachu dumps a bucket of water on Ash**
**Pikachu ZAP CANNONs Ash**
**Ash is pretty much dead now**

Audience/Pikachu/Yusuke/Ryoko/Akutareru: YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WOOO!!

**SkulMeramon & Sudwoodo drag the black corpse off the stage**
**Curtains fall**

Akutareru: Ahem, and that was...THE BASHING SHOW!! We hope you enjoyed the show and come back next time! CYAS! *vanish*

Audience: *claps and cheers*

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